Fool's Errands #002 – Starting Pokémon GO in 2025 (Part 2)

*****

This is a non-regular series I dub as Fool's Errands. Why? Because it will chronicle, or at least, tell about an act or attempt I have or had taken, could be small or big, that was... well, presumably pointless, unnecessary, or even crazy to some. 😅

It would not always be the case, of course. Maybe it was merely a mundane thing I just never really got around to doing before. My goal is to learn something from it. Whether I intend to continue doing it or not is up for grabs. But, hey, maybe such an action will lead to a fun discovery... 😉

*****

Here I am, typing the second Part of "What happens if I start playing Pokémon GO in 2025." 

You can check the first part through this link if you're curious about what was there before. Also, to save time and effort since I'm picking up where I left off right away. ✌🏻😏

To Store or Not to Store

When I abruptly wrapped up Part 1, I said, "I couldn't play that day because I had ZERO empty space in my Pokémon Storage." That does serve as the unintentional bridge to this next point. 🤷🏻‍♂️

As I said above (and on the previous point), you WILL fill up your Pokémon Storage with completely new, unique Pokémon in no time. Those Special Research I discussed before? Some of their tasks also reward a Pokémon encounter. 🙂

There are also Raid Battle dens, which will also reward the featured Pokémon, often the powerful final evolutions of the wild Pokémon you found on the virtual map. Assuming you have met enough players to clear the Raid, that is. But even if you are a complete introve-- er, lone wol--, I mean a SOLO player like me, there are easier 1☆ to 3☆ Raid Battles you can tackle alone. The 3☆ will need some preparation (read: Power Up), but a good number can still be dealt with solo. 💪🏻😤

Furthermore, the same Pokémon come in different varieties. Remember the Shiny variant? That is another entry in the Pokédex. Shadow variants are next in line. You can catch these by defeating Team GO Rocket's grunts. They are the in-house antagonists/Evil Team, led by three original characters called GO Rocket Leaders. All three operate on behalf of a non-in-house character, Giovanni. 👨‍💼👀

The Shadow Pokémon lineup expands regularly. Also, their Purified forms are registered separately on the Pokédex, adding yet another variant to collect! 😳

Defeating a GO Rocket Leader will also give you a red-patterned, 12 km Egg, containing specific Pokémon only available in it (for now)... 🐣

Ah, yes. I haven't mentioned Eggs, huh? If you spin a PokéStop, you will receive three varieties of Eggs. A green-patterned 2 km, an orange-patterned 5 km, or a bluish violet-patterned 10 km one. Each may contain a unique Pokémon you cannot usually encounter roaming around. How to hatch these Eggs? Well, you put them in an incubator and... WALK. 🚶‍♂️🏃‍♀️🤮

Wait, there's more! A gift from other players may give you a 7 km egg, containing even rarer varieties of Pokémon. Often, these are Regional Forms of the ones you normally catch while playing. Is it another variant, too? BINGO! 🙆🏻‍♂️

And then, there are costumed Pokémon that Niantic adds to certain events or achievements. No, this is different than Pokémon with unique forms. For example, a little fairy, Flabébé, can hold 5 different-colored flowers, the Poodle Pokémon Furfrou has 10 unique Fur Trims, and don't get me started on Vivillon's 18 available geographical-based Patterns or the 28 Alphabetical shapes of Unown. Costume Pokémon are regular Pokémon wearing a themed outfit.

Ever wonder how Pikachu would look wearing a cowboy or witch hat? It is available in Pokémon GO. 🤠🧙‍♀️

Uh-huh, they get entries in the Pokédex, too, now.

That's amazing, right? So many to hunt and collect. 😛

Items have their own Storage, modeled as a backpack. Like Pokémon, you will add content to your Item Bag super fast. You only need to spin a PokéStop to gather these items: Pokéballs, Potions, and more. Each time you level up, the game also gives you Bonus items. It is such an embarrassment of riches! 🤑

Free things are awesome. Right?

Well, nothing is ever free on this planet. The problem with having all kinds of mons and loads of items is one, honestly. YOU RUN OUT OF STORAGE IMMEDIATELY!!! 🤯😱

I used up my initial 300 Pokémon Storage in the first week alone. "Pokémon GO Tour Unova" played a major part in that, since every hour of those two days flooded my account with new Pokémon or their forms (Oh, Deerling) from the Unova region. 

The Storage issue has a solution, of course. Players can expand it using PokéCoins. Luckily, or perhaps, thankfully, I had put Pokémon in Gyms. They helped me earn PokéCoins, which are capped at a maximum of 50 per day. On the 4th day, I had enough coins to upgrade my Pokémon Storage with 50 more empty spots. But believe it or not, it took me only 2 days to fill those spots with completely new Pokémon. My goodness. 😵🤦🏻‍♂️

And when you do, you cannot really do anything else. Unless you're willing to dump the hard-to-catch Pokémon for a clean slate, of course. That is the next simple solution, honestly. My nephew, when he used to play, always chose that option because he was uninterested in taking over Gyms. 🤷🏻‍♂️

How about the Items Bag? That poses the same issue and/or solution. 

You cannot spin any PokéStops once it is full. But what if you clear a Special Research that rewards Items? Your Item Bag will get overloaded more than before. The effect ripples, too. No spinning PokéStop means saying goodbye to Research Tasks asking you to "Spin X PokéStop." Also, that means not getting Gifts. You need to wait until the Pokémon you've assigned as Buddy Pokémon shows pity and fetches a few for you. Believe it or not, the critter is designed to care enough for you to stay connected with other players. 🥺👐🦋

But yeah, you can always use PokéCoins to upgrade that Item Bag, too. Or, just like the Pokémon, dump the items you just got for free in the trash. 😫🗑

That's right! You either use as many items as possible or throw them away as a last resort. Beats the point of getting them in the first place, huh? Everything is disposable in this game. 😐

Money, Money, Money?

Like most mobile games, Pokémon GO began, and, well, in general, is an F2P (Free to Play) game. Then again, echoing my line above, there's never anything free on this planet, huh? A give-and-take always happens in anything we do, even for the most abstract thing you can think of. 🙄

Once you've gotten the general idea of Pokémon GO's gameplay, you start to stumble into some roadblocks I detailed previously. And, that's, my friends, where the monetization comes in. In desperate need of Storage? Just upgrade using PokéCoins. Not enough coins, but need it fast? Visit the Niantic store to buy them using real-life money. Ooof! 😩💱

There's an obvious reason why the Pokémon storage limit is now 9,800 (from the free 300 😨), and the Item Bag limit has been increased to 8,800. Players need them, so they SELL like hotcakes! Cha-ching! 😓💸

In Part 1, I also said there is extra Special Research you can purchase. That is right! It's also a profit source for the developer. Personally, I never bought them. I know many do, though, to the point of calling it "worth the price." Those annual "GO Tour" and "GO Fest" events? If you want to get more benefits, then you will need to get the Paid Ticket. 

And, hmmmm. Does the idea of walking a 12 km Egg sound like hard work? Fret not! You can buy a Super Incubator that reduces the distance by 1/3. I mean, you STILL need to walk. But at least it doesn't need to be 12 km. 🙄🤦🏻‍♂️

On the one hand, the pursuit of money isn't a negative thing. A company like Niantic needs to earn profits to pay employees. Otherwise, there wouldn't be decent programmers to keep upgrading the game or any percentage paid to The Pokémon Company International, which allows the game to use Pokémon. 🤷🏻‍♂️ 

Then again, on the other hand, it's getting hard to ignore how this monetization effort has gotten more and more obvious. You probably have noticed that in the not-so-subtle weekly events in the game. 😶

Hatch event? That encourages players to buy extra, if not Super Incubators to speed up the results, unless you're up for walking the extra mile. Raid event? It's designed to push players to do as many Raids as possible, beyond the 5 Passes given for free. And to do so requires a purchasable Raid Pass. 😰

Starting from "Pokémon GO Tour: Hoenn" in 2023, Location Backgrounds have become a thing in the game. It functions precisely as its name. A unique background appears on a Pokémon info screen. These are rare cosmetic effects, prompting you to keep the Pokémon, even though you probably have deleted dozens of them already. 🤔

But it's only for Special Events, right? Well, "Pokémon GO Fest 2024" expanded that idea with Special Backgrounds. Since Community Day in December 2024, there has been follow-up Timed Research that gives encounters with the same featured Pokémon, but it will have Special Backgrounds. Just like that, it makes plenty of sense why Storage capacity only keeps growing. Niantic sneakily makes players feel unsure about deleting the Pokémon they catch, thus implicitly encouraging them to upgrade their Pokémon Storage and Item Bag as often as possible. 🙄

Even without a Special Background, recent Timed Research has done nothing but dump loads of Pokémon at the players' faces. The "Bug Out 2025" event, which will wrap a few hours after this post goes up, rewards you with 7 Pokémon. It comes with 3 Collection Challenges that reward 3 more. 🤔

The game has also compensated for the "Catch Mastery" mishap by providing 2 free Timed Research for all players: "Fossil Encounters: Kabuto" and "Fossil Encounters: Omanyte." Each one gives not 1, not 3, but a heaping 10 Kabuto and 10 Omanyte. How many are those in total already? 😟

Oh, and one more thing.

I feel the Pokémon have gotten harder to catch in recent months. Maybe to justify the latest Adventure Effects that supposedly make Pokémon "easier to catch" or supposedly so. Either way, you might waste more Pokéballs trying to catch one. And, in a way, that is another aspect that tempts you to, well, BUY more. 😑

The irony is, as I've just noticed, the game sometimes suddenly drops 30 Pokéballs on my Item Bag without warning. That's why my Item Storage is almost always over capacity. 🤦🏻‍♂️

These dazzling decisions trigger one question in my brain. Why the growing urge for monetization? I have my theory. But I'll save them for the final Part (surely you've seen that coming, considering this has already felt too long 😅).

With that said, in this new playthrough, I don't intend on spending a single dime of actual money. But I'm already doubting if that's even sustainable. Maybe if I stop catching anything until I gather enough PokéCoins? 😖

Hot and Cold

And then, just like that, after I waited and upgraded my Pokémon Storage the second time? My progress came to a screeching halt. At that point, the "Festival of Colors 2025" had begun. Believe it or not, I cleared all the wild entries available through this event the next day. I had acquired the Time Limited Shiny Smeargle, too. After that, what to do? Nothing but catching the same ones to get candies, I suppose. 🍬🍭

That's the ongoing routine of this game. Some events come at you hot, as if trying aggressively to meet ends meet, tempting you to play actively maybe, even day and night. Then, suddenly, it shifts into being cold, introducing a new Pokémon through one method only (Use Incense! Hatch them!). Meanwhile, the ones sprawling the map are the same old varieties you've probably already deleted for the twentieth time. 📅📈📉

I guess the downtime is good. But often, it feels like a facade that may throw you off guard. The wisest course of action during these slow periods is to stock as many PokéCoins as possible. By doing so, once the next event begins, you may be more prepared for any curveball thrown at you. To be precise, I'm talking about the money-draining kind. 💵🗑😟

Friends or Foes?

GO Friend has been a staple component of Pokémon GO's gameplay since it was introduced in June 2018. Back in the day (a sentence I can't believe I just said, but it's accurate nonetheless), adding friends was not easy. Players must rely on social media, using the hashtag #PokémonGOFriends to locate other players who might be looking for friends. Then, after communication and connection were established, the pair could register their names to each other in the system. Like a dating app? Hahaha. 😜

My, oh, my, how the times have changed. Social media is still an option, yes. But nowadays, non-official third-party sites make the process much easier to accomplish. Pokémon GO Gishan and Leekduck's Pen Pal are two examples on the market. They are what I rely on most lately, anyway. Players will find the pages chock full of other users looking for new friends.

The reason? XP and Gifts. 😌😅

Leveling up Friendship rewards XP. Sending Gifts also gives XP and enables you to encounter a Scatterbug that can evolve into unique patterns Vivillon. 🐛🦋

But, again, the reality of GO Friends is not as sweet as it sounds. One fact I truly dislike about this feature? Much like mutual followers in social media or the game's treatment of Pokémon and Items, it transforms other players into another disposable thing. 😞

Seriously, it won't take you long to realize that some players are just plain awful! I've run into players who unfriend too easily when I forget to send Gifts or open theirs. Some others only open Gifts and never send any in return. I know GO Friends will never be as real as an actual friend. But it also feels like they are simply a stepping stone to level up. Once they reach Best Friend status, they delete you right away. 🙅🏻‍♂️🦵🏻

I also discovered a startling revelation in this new playthrough. There are three high-ranking (level 50) players in my area. Before, I never paid attention to their behaviors, being in the same Blue team. This new account, however, opened my eyes. Two of them could be in two different Gyms at once, located far apart, kicking out the Pokémon I left to defend there. Even if they used a car, it would take at least a 10-minute gap to reach my position from the previous Gym. 

Naturally, there is only one obvious explanation. They must be The Flash and Quicksilver! 🤔

Kidding. They are obviously GPS spoofers. No wonder they could reach high levels so fast. That's how they could easily monopolize the entire area as their Gyms. That explained why they could have distinct Pokémon only found in Egypt and Hawaii before they were made available globally through Paid Tickets. How gullible I was, thinking they were frequent travelers. 🧑‍✈️

Niantic may have insisted that they are taking care of and banning GPS spoofers. However, these two players running free for 8 years only proves otherwise. 😑

Regardless. Where there are bad seeds? There are also good ones. Such is the nature of life. As of this writing, 1 month and 3 days after this Pokémon GO account was born, it has reached Level 28 with 30 steady GO Friends. I'm partially and hopefully sure these are the good people that remain. 😌

Of course, that number is not entirely pure; 2 are my neighbors, including the one whose referral code I requested, and 1 is my main account. 1 other is a New York-based Best Buddy I had from my main account, who caught wind of my project and wanted to help (Thanks, LB! 😁🙏🏻). So, in total, that's 26 completely new GO Friends. 😏

Considering the daily cap limit for sending and opening Gifts, though? I'd say that number is more than enough. I've seen other players filling up their 400 GO Friends limit overnight (the space was extended from 200 in 2021). While I'm not criticizing that move (to each their own, eh?), I don't see it as sustainable. There WILL be a future Special Research that asks you to "Add a New Friend," so it's wise to keep a space to breathe. 😳

Besides, I prefer to connect with GO Friends from various parts of the world. Thanks to these diverse players, I've secured the Gold Medal for Vivillon Patterns, missing only the obvious rare ones (Tundra, Sandstorm, and Ocean). 😉

I'll be frank; this may be the only feature that has prevented me from logging off from the game for good in my main account. Maybe that will be the reason for me to keep playing this new account, too. So, if you're interested in adding me as a GO Friend, drop your Trainer's Code in the comment section. I guarantee you'll get at least 1 Jungle Pattern Vivillon a few days later. 😉👍🏻

****

Whoops, I've hit the Storage limit (of my brainpower) again. Have to recharge with PokéCoins first before I can continue. Hahaha...  

See you on the final, Part 3, next month!

Fool's Errands #001 – Starting Pokémon GO in 2025 (Part 1)

*****

This is the first of a non-regular series I dub as Fool's Errands. Why? Because it will chronicle, or at least, tell about an act or attempt I have or had taken, could be small or big, that was... well, presumably pointless, unnecessary, or even crazy to some. 😁

It would not always be the case, of course. Maybe it was merely a mundane thing I just never really got around to doing before. You get the picture. 😏

My goal is to learn something from it. Whether I intend to continue doing the action is up for grabs. But, hey, life is all about learning, right? Maybe such an action will lead to a fun discovery... 😉

*****

Driven by the hype of Pokémon Day (February 27), I started something that contradicted my inner desire. As the title of this piece suggests, that action was starting a new gameplay of Pokémon GO from scratch. Despite my increasing irritability for the game (I actually wanted to wrap my run once I reached Level 46), my curiosity got the best of me. 🙄

The question that came to my mind was:

"How would a new player feel and what would the experience be like if they start playing Pokémon GO this year?" 🤔

After all, it's almost 9 years since the game became a global sensation, only to have a gradual drop in players due to the developer's questionable and insensitive decisions. 🤷🏻‍♂️

(Source: Pokémon GO, developed by Niantic and The Pokémon Company)

Without further ado, here's what I have learned since then...

Continuous Imperfection

One of my biggest qualms about Pokémon GO is the lack of quality control from Niantic, its developer. Guess what? 8 years and 8 months later, that baffling issue has continuously plagued the gameplay. 😑

If you do not believe me, check out Niantic Support's social media accounts. The most recent "incident" (I admit, I enjoy seeing those Futurama "N Days Since Last Incident" meme, though 😏) happened during the "Catch Mastery" event. 

During the event, players were tasked to complete Timed Researches by catching two Fossil Pokémon who debuted in Pokémon Red/Blue; Omanyte and Kabuto. The promise was their rare, Shiny (unique colored) variants would appear at a higher probability rate.

Yet, a few hours after it started, a PSA came out, implying the developer FORGOT to activate that higher rate. 🤦🏻‍♂️

This was, far and away, NOT the first time it happened. 😅

Considering Niantic is based in San Francisco, maybe the staff in charge was fast asleep when the first time zone started in New Zealand? 🥱

Alas, that is just the obvious issue spotted and experienced worldwide. Here are some other examples I experienced. 🤨

In early February, a visual update to the Pokédex page's design went live. If you catch a new Pokémon, you will see a quick animation showing how that species gets registered. I figured that, since I am playing from zero, I could record the cute animation sequence for EVERY monster! 😀

Before I knew it, the catch screen froze repeatedly in my gameplay. The Pokémon WAS registered, but I was robbed of the animation. 😤

Routes are a mini-feature added in July 2023. Players can record the path they walk through, and others can follow in their footsteps. 

I admit the concept was thrilling. Until I submitted my Route(s)... 

Some were only approved many months later. 🐌🙄

That was almost two years ago. Things have changed. But while the submission process has gotten faster, I cannot say the same about the feature itself. It still contains the same ridiculous bug. 

Somehow, as soon as I start walking through a Route, the tracker suddenly pauses my progress for no reason. I honestly thought that only applied to my original account which had built up 8-year worth of data. Nope! It still happened in my new account. That means, players must pay attention to the Route if it is active. Otherwise, you might be wasting your energy. ⏸🙅🏻‍♂️

On two separate occasions, I actually had to walk back and retrace my steps upon realizing the tracker stopped when I took on a Raid along the pathway. 😑🚶‍♂️

Overwhelming Freebies?

Special Research has been a staple of the Pokémon GO gameplay since March 2018, debuting less than two years after the game officially launched. It is basically a series of Quests/Tasks you must complete to obtain a special reward. 👀

The first ever Special Research was titled "A Mythical Discovery" and rewarded the Mythical Mew. Every new player WILL get this, too! FOR FREE! Yay!!! 😆

Once you reach Level 15, that is. 😐

But fret not, besides how easy it is to reach that player level, you will automatically receive not one or two, but more of those Special Research not long after you start playing. A new Special Research called "To the Next Level" (available since November 2024), in particular, will act as a handholding guide for you to play the game. 👬

As of this writing, I have more than 10 Special Researches running in parallel. These include the new Special Research added after new gimmicks like Mega Evolution and Dynamax were added to the game. 4 will eventually reward a Mythical Pokémon each. If I'm not wrong, 3 more will follow once I reach a certain level or finish the one for Mew. 😳

There's more! Since I started playing before "Pokémon GO Tour Unova", I also got some new Special Research (seasonal "Dual Destiny," "Pokémon Presents '25"). Currently, the new Research for the season of "Might and Mastery" is also active. 😐

And then there is the Referral Bonus! Seriously, I was always curious about this feature. Now I know what that is. Any new players who create an account using our referral code will get another list of Progression Tasks that reward items or cool Pokémon. 

I'm not gonna lie. The Special Research concept is, and sounds like, a good thing, considering Mythical Pokémon are rare to obtain in console titles. Not to mention these ones will come in your OT (Original Trainer ID). The giveaways in the mainline games usually stamp a Mythical with the source's name as the owner.

However, once you experience it, you will also realize one thing: 

Having that long list of Special Research IS overwhelming! 😩

The good thing is some of the tasks DO overlap. For example, "Catch X Pokémon" and "Power up Pokémon X times". So, you can clear several of those in one go. This is convenient, as in the past, I needed to do that task all over again when a new Special Research was released. 🙄

The confusing part is keeping track of which one you have cleared, as the progress varies on each one.

But is that still not enough for you? Perhaps, you desperately need a financial excuse to push yourself to keep playing the game? Then you can BUY additional Special Research during specific events. ☝🏻😅💸

Have I mentioned there are Timed Researches, too? ⏳📆

Fast and Furious

As stated above, you WILL level up fast. Those Special Research usually reward XP (Experience Points) that range from small to abundant. Every time you clear a Step, your chance of jumping straight toward the next level is high. Also, some of the tasks include "Evolving X Pokémon" or "Battle in X Raids." Those actions also reward XP. 🧗‍♂️

Even without deliberately finishing the Special Research, you will surely rack up XP quickly. How so? This game now consists of 9 regions, which means roughly 800-something monsters to catch on the overworld. Registering a new entry rewards a bonus of 1,000 XP. 👀

That completion progress is bafflingly fast for a new account. In the early years of the game, you must catch plenty of Pokémon to gather candies. Those candies are necessary to evolve the Pokémon and register the evolved form. But now, you don't even need to evolve them all. Many of the evolved forms are available and catchable around you. All you need to do is walk toward where their Silhouettes appear on the map!

Sometimes, they may include the rare Shiny color I mentioned earlier. ✨

Do you know I already got 6 Shinies by March 15? It did NOT take this fast when I started playing in 2016. And, no, the list didn't include any from the monthly Community Day (this month featured Fuecoco on March 8). Otherwise, the total might be double since the event always had a boosted chance of encountering a Shiny. I couldn't play that day because I had ZERO empty space in my Pokémon Storage. 😐

That brings me to the next point! 😨

***

But just like walking on a Route, let me abruptly put a "Pause" for now. ⏸😅

This is getting too long already. So, I will detail the rest in Part 2... 😪

Fading Connections and Relationships

Just 2 days before February 14, I stumbled upon an article on HackSpirit. 

People who unconsciously cut off friends... 🤔

The fascinating thing? In the days prior, I had two pen pals apologizing for not reaching out as quickly as they used to. Naturally, I reminded them that they did nothing wrong, and brought up the fact that some others have been "AWOL" for far longer (months if not years) than them. So, their ridiculously short absence paled in comparison. 😅

Hence, reading that article felt so much like a weird coincidence. While I never gave it much thought before, the content made me ponder: 

"This does happen, huh?" 😐

Alarmingly so, the piece rhymed well with an opinion I shared previously about "Being Busy." That HackSpirit article, however, expands it by touching on reasons beyond the hectic demands of one's routine. Drifting apart can happen unconsciously. 😨

Once again, Jesse Eisenberg's Dave in A Real Pain might be a good example of this. Without spoiling the movie (seriously, watch the Academy Award-winning comedy already! 😅), the obvious gap between the character and his cousin Benji was not intentional. It was Dave's shifting priorities (one key point in the article) that inevitably caused him to drift apart. 😔

The same week, Pokémon GO was running a Timed Research event called Beloved Buddies. One NPC, Candela, who was the focus of the storyline, stated this:

(Source: Pokémon GO, developed by Niantic and The Pokémon Company)

The fictional character pretty much spoke about friends thriving separately. Her line was not even implied but captured the idea precisely. 🙂

"I gotta trust that my friends have the strength to make it out OK, whether they're on their own or at my side."

True to Candela's (stereotyped) optimism, instead of feeling uneasy about it, she ended the "talk" on a high note. 😅

"I wanna be there to help --if and when you need me."

Naturally, I resonate deeply with that last line. Probably due to my zodiac or my MBTI, I agree with that sentiment. I wish to be there for others equally. But, of course, the real world doesn't work like fiction. More often than not, a line like Candela's will be appreciated, only to be NOT taken seriously. The emphasis is on the "if and when you need me" part. Because in most cases, in real life, that may NEVER happen. 🙄

Frankly, that kind of response disappoints me. And sometimes, I even take offense by such a disregard. 😩

I mean, I meant my words to the tee. I've experienced numerous occasions of being in need, only to have the people who promised to be there for me NEVER come and vanish instead. So, I understand that unpleasant feeling. And I will try my best NOT to have people, especially if it's a family member, close friend, or someone I care about, feel the same way. 😟

(By the way, that point of view doesn't count as people-pleasing. Right? 😶)

Yet, somehow, it felt like I had somehow become forgettable if and when they were down in the dumps. It wasn't that I craved for validation or anything. It's just that, oddly enough, me and my wide-open helping hands, who were always there, became invisible from their line of sight! Or as someone once lamented to me, "Just like that, we're only an afterthought." 🤦🏻‍♂️👻

Of course, the more that happened, I slowly realized one thing. Such a situation was a prelude to something bigger. The dismissive attitude silently and softly segued into a worse outcome. And it was none other than the one I mentioned in the opening paragraph of this writing. Those people did not only disregard my sincere offer. They cut off other people, too! 😱

We live in a weird time. The rise of social media makes it easy to connect with people who live far away. But, in a way, it also makes it easier for that connection to fade away. There is one fact that feels antithetical or maybe ironic to that, though. 😐

Honestly, people nowadays have FAR EASIER access to knowledge about or how to navigate themselves through connections or relationships. One good example? I am a genuine fan of the Tech Support series by WIRED. The free online videos bring experts on wide-ranging but specific topics, giving them space to answer real-life questions submitted by the audience. More often than not, the answers become an entertaining learning experience that broadens my horizon. 😳

Feel free to call it a weird habit, but I'm fascinated by videos that divulge around connections. Even when it seems to be not intentional about the general varieties. Like the one featuring the renowned Dr. Orna Guralnik. It discusses couples therapy. 

But I mean, apart from the romantic or sexual parts, many of the issues included DO apply to any relationship in general, right? One part that fascinates me is how Dr. Guralnik keeps mentioning the word curious, as in a sense of curiosity about one's partner. That is a component that keeps a relationship alive. Come to think of it, that applies the same to friendship and other connections, too. 🤔

Another thrilling video features licensed family therapist Stephanie Yates-Anyabwile. Likewise, this focuses predominantly on romantic couples. The fun difference is some of the questions actually touch upon how forming a relationship with someone may affect the other relationships that a person has, in this case, family or friends. So, it has also been an eye-opening watch. 👀

From my experience, what Ms. Yates-Anyabwile explains is very relatable, considering many faded connections I had or witnessed usually happened when that friend or family member met someone (new, either in a romantic setting or not). The presence of that "intruder" disrupts the nature or balance that was once there. 😒👫😟

 

One good case is a close school friend of my brother. For simplicity purposes, let's say that person is named Average Joe. Suddenly, Joe's whole world revolved around someone new, say, his new lover. Joe began to push others, including my brother, away and away, albeit unconsciously. 💑

As the Tech Support video elaborated, in line with the HackSpirit article, there was an obvious shift of priorities in Joe's mind. Not that it was bad, of course. The people who used to be Joe's inner circle? They all felt happy for him. Yet, before my brother knew it, Joe had grown so distant that my brother barely recognized him anymore. 🤷🏻‍♂️🙅🏻‍♂️

Hypothetically, IF Joe's relationship went well and headed to the next stages? Then most likely, that awkward distance continued, as the sense of aloofness with his friends grew further. It might even turn Joe into a complete stranger, exclusively bound or chained to his couple only. "The bird has left the nest," one often says. 💒🦢🕊

But the problem is that a relationship does NOT always have a surefire warranty. "Happily ever after" only exists in fairytales. What happened when Joe's relationship went sideways? Suddenly once more, Joe started crawling back into my brother's life, trying to reconnect. 💔

Alas, the world around Joe, including his previous inner circle, had already adjusted to his notable absence, too. In short, the change happened on both sides. The relationship already transformed Joe for better or worse. In Joe's case, even I, an outsider, can attest to how the previously polite and positive-spirited Joe has eerily turned into a jaded and just a jerk-of-a person. From someone full of life, Joe became full of himself and, regrettably if not irritably, unpleasant to be around. ✋🏻🤡

Simply put, the damage was already done on Joe. Despite the long friendship my brother used to have with Joe, my brother and the other friends openly admit they now try their best to keep their arms at length from him. Why? Because the air no longer feels right whenever Joe is around. 😫

On the one hand, I feel bad for Joe, especially recalling how he was a good person before (and maybe still is deep down?). But on the other hand, I also feel bad for my brother and his friends if they must "force themselves" to, in a phrase my pen pal (one I mentioned earlier, actually) likes to use, "put up with" Joe's new annoying antics. 🙄

Speaking of pen pals, some of my pen pals have also shared similar situations with the Joe(s) in their lives. I admit I have my share, too. Heck, upon further thinking and retrospect, I might have been a Joe to the people I used to know! That might have happened when I pulled back to focus on myself and prioritize self-care. With that in mind, this issue is undeniably a common thing, huh? 😲

I don't recall in which video (I watch a lot, guilty of any charges). But I saw a comment about friendship and/or connection in that video that sounded fascinating. It easily stayed on my mind ever since. After a quick search (just now), it turns out to be a line written by Ziad K. Abdelnour.

"You have three types of friends in life: Friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime."

I brought that line into a discussion with some of my pen pals. To my surprise, they more or less agreed to the notion. One even compared "the season" part somewhat literally, connecting it to the natural life cycle. 🌐

He said that sometimes, we meet cheerful and vibrant people who feel like Spring. Others are sunny like Summer. But as time goes on, the season starts to shift into Autumn. Their presence is replaced by the mellow and moody variety. By the time Winter arrives? The warmth that once was there has turned into sheer cold. In a sense, his analogy encapsulates the entire idea of why connections glow and fade, or how even the sweetest and magical mutual bonds can grow and wilt. Would you agree? 🌺☀️🍂❄️

I admit that experiencing a fading connection is far from delightful. Experts have revealed that, any good connection, when/if it has run its course, leaves behind a painful feeling. There is even a renowned song in my country that says something along the lines of "It is better to have a toothache, instead of heartache." 😅

That may explain why, despite my Mirror Armor tendency, I do my best, or try to, at least, not let one connection go awry as easily. In that pursuit, I have strived to be more understanding of their situation or the possible reasons for their decline. After all, we all have our reasons for disappearing from the spotlight. Nevertheless, there is so much that I can do. Any relationship is all about balance. Even if I have done my part, it does not work if the other side does not reciprocate, right? 😞🤷🏻‍♂️

At the end of the day, people come and people go. Life runs that way. There are cases when walking away may be the sole solution, no matter how uneasy it may be. Upon further analysis, giving up on people does not need to be a bad thing, either, particularly if such "Goodbye" will impact our mental state or peace of mind for the better. As hard and painful as it is, giving up on people is still very much an option. 😓😕😌👍🏻

(Source: MotivationalDoc)

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Dedicated to my late Dad. One of the few connections in life I wish is still alive and well today. We miss you each day, Dad! 🙏