If this post were a Pokémon, then what you are reading is its Mega Evolution form. This has gone through repeated evolution since the first draft. And even a discarded part became a short post I published at the closing of last month. Shedinja, much? 😅
Although, if I'm being more precise, maybe a split evolution equally makes a good fit, too. 🤔
Think of it like how my first "Fool's Errands" about Pokémon GO turned into a three-parter (plus one). 😂🤷🏻♂️
But in what way does that apply to this post this time? Allow me to backtrack for a bit. ⏳
In March, I rambled—er, shared a bit about how certain connections, including friendship, usually change or shift like the changing seasons. That post actually had more details and examples that I had to omit for simplicity. I figured they might come in handy for future rants about the topic of friendship. Who would've ever guessed it would be repurposed so soon? And the reason came in twofold. ✌🏻
Wait! Am I lonely?
Firstly, it resurfaced after I watched this video from Psych2Go. 👇🏻
Note: That was a new version of this video from two months ago.
Generally, videos from this psychology channel are insightful and, in many cases, spot on. This one, however, made me go, "Huh?" And admittedly, not the kind of nice "Huh." 🤨
Nothing against the channel, of course. I suppose it was seeing the presented points, plus some questionable sources for the explanation, that triggered a confused reaction. Besides, around eleven days later, the channel released this Quiz that probably helped explain my defensive reaction:
My final tally fit in the second category: "Some Loneliness."
While the result also made me go, "Huh," the explanation does make more sense this time. Excluding the contradictive "online communities might help you expand it" advice, that is. Because they said in the previous videos that online relationships "may point to loneliness." 🤔
And, indeed, that last point was what prompted my irked reaction, honestly. 🤨🙅🏻♂️
Most of my frequent interactions nowadays are with my virtual friends, whether they are my long-time pen pals or through messaging services. Everyone I know in real life is either super busy at work and/or new family, or they have unconsciously retreated into the shadows, away from social media. It is mostly my virtual friends who somehow stay present. And I know they deal with challenges in their daily life, much like the ones I know physically. 😬
Therefore, I might have immediately felt annoyed that my situation is called "Lonely." Unlike years ago, I actually no longer feel alone or lonely. 🤔
Like the advice on the Quiz said, online communities DID help to expand my circle. I even found actual friends who are there for me for no reason at all.
We support and check in on each other frequently, despite the distance and different time zones. We may not be able to provide a physical hug in times of need. However, a simple virtual hug makes up for it. And, seriously, knowing and being repeatedly reminded that someone out there worries and thinks of your well-being and safety is enough to put my mind at ease. 😌🙏🏻
If that's not what friendship is? Then I really don't know what can be considered as one. 😐
As ironic as this sounds, they are generally more reliable and trustworthy than those who are near. Hence why I don't mind that "Some Loneliness" result. In a way, it IS accurate. 😅🤷🏻♂️
(Source: Psych2Go)
Wait! Maybe I'm not alone at this?
That said, it's super easy to assume that I'm the only one feeling a certain way. But this whole thing truly got me thinking. People are always connected, maybe even TOO connected, 24/7 now. Suffice it to say everything is ONLINE. 😶🤳💻
You've probably noticed it, too. People hanging out together, but everyone is glued to their phones, swiping—or worse, doomscrolling—through social media, checking out what their mutuals are posting? A family gathering where several individuals are giggling at a meme posted by a faraway friend instead of reacting to the lousy Dad Joke someone just said out loud? A couple dining at a fancy restaurant, but their minds are at their respective bestie's parties? There are people with millions of followers and mutuals online, but fewer than a few, or even no one, to talk to in person. 😦
In this digital age, there are A LOT of those! 😳
Doesn't that also count as virtual connections? So, does this mean everyone is lonely in a way? After all, it IS said to be a "sign of loneliness." 🤔
Surprisingly, that's not far from the truth. A 2023 Meta-Gallup research concluded, "Nearly one in four people worldwide feel very or fairly lonely." Heck, even Psych2Go detailed this situation called "loneliness epidemic" in these separate videos:
For the record, this situation was initially dubbed the "male loneliness epidemic." Still, I fully agree with this Medium post, offering a different and more inclusive perspective on the matter. Loneliness is a UNIVERSAL issue that affects ALL genders equally. 🤦🏻😮🤦🏻♂️
The forms and causes, however? They may differ. While men might silently struggle with the feeling of being unlovable, women must wrestle with society's often-bizarre expectations of a superwoman who handles everything perfectly. 🙇🏻♂️😞🙇♀️
Really, though. One common trigger unites both sides. Despite the "social" naming, social media isn't always positive for your mental health. It can breed an unhealthy level of comparison, drain away self-compassion, and drown people in a toxic mindset.
In other words, loneliness is THAT widespread. A distressing state, indeed. That's actually the reason that pushed me to write this. 😬
Wait! What's the second reason?
Your keen memory is not fooling you. I did say there were two reasons for this post! That other reason is actually the trigger that split the original draft for this into two (or three, if you count the April 30 post). 🤭
Marvel Studios' Thunderbolts*! 🤩
I'm not going to spoil anything about the superhero movie, even if you're probably already spoiled by the numerous videos on YouTube or online reviews. But one thing I can say—and many people have clamored for it already. Amidst the one-liners and the clash of cool, choreographed action scenes, the movie tackles DARK, as in, seriously dark topics. Mental health! 😨🤯
That probably won't surprise you if you know who the director, Jake Schreier, is. He was the executive producer of the Netflix series "Beef," which also spotlighted deeply STRUGGLING characters. Steven Yeun, who won an Emmy in 2024 for his leading role in that show, was even set to play Bob, an integral character in Thunderbolts* before scheduling conflicts due to the 2023 actor's strike brought Lewis Pullman to take over. Pullman made Bob his own with his unique charm, by the way. 🤩
Thunderbolts* isn't flawless. Some potentials aren't explored as much as they could have (which may be a wise creative decision to balance out runtime or pacing). Even so, what it nails right is its relatable portrayal of emotional turmoils and the darkness inside its characters, especially Bob. Sometimes it's blatant and requires no explanation. Other moments, it's subtle and quietly metaphorical. This scene from the trailer, featuring Florence Pugh's Yelena Belova, is a good example of one. 😰😣
I'm no expert in psychology, so I won't pretend to back this up with the proper theories or scholarly research. You can ask my psychology major friend for that. But many therapists have praised the movie's bold handling of the subject, including the unexpected approach to overcoming it. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😲
Furthermore, to many audiences, such an internal issue had even hit home so much that it makes them "feel seen." I saw people crying while watching this movie in the theatre. And, honestly, I could relate to that myself. Maybe, like me, they understood why the characters behaved the way they did. Many others have also openly shared similar sentiments online. 🥺
That shared reaction made me realize that many people struggle in distinct ways. Mental health is an ordeal that many of us are facing. Thus, it makes even more sense why or how the loneliness epidemic could happen. Because, yes, loneliness is present in the movie, too. It's one of the clearer issues that Thunderbolts* does NOT sugarcoat. 😢
Wait! What if I feel alone?
That feeling you feel, FORLORN, is real. Forlorn is the cooler and more poetic word to describe that you are sad, abandoned, lonely, hopeless, or unfulfilled. But there's nothing cool or poetic about having it. Would you agree? 😓
Again, I'm no therapist, so this section is based only on my experience and others', be it offline or online. However, much like how the flawed and forlorn characters in Thunderbolts* find their way to "save" one another, that CAN BE YOU, too.
What you need to do is reach out. Take a bold step forward, and find those who are real. And by reaching out, it doesn't always mean to other people. 🙏🏻🤝🏻
Maybe it's your inner self you need to befriend first. To face your internal demons that have been haunting you with despair, doubts, and daunting negativity. You may start with that. Or as my lecturer friend would say, "To not be too hard on yourself." To embrace your flaws and acknowledge your feelings as a valid part of you, instead of shoving them away like they mean nothing. Self-compassion is a powerful action. 😌👍🏻
Consulting with a licensed therapist is always encouraged. Even so, if you're reluctant and not ready to welcome other people in, how about giving that spot to other living beings? 😉
A tender tree that grows and does not grouch at you will stand beside you without shunning. How about a feline friend who purrs instead of preaching to you to do this or that? A canine companion who needs your smiles and does not numb your sanity is a good choice, too! 🌳🐈⬛🐕🦺
Looking for an outlet that excites your core can be your answer, too. Gaming? I don't see why not, especially if it's a good game. Learning a foreign language may also be your thing. From Spanish to Esperanto, the choices are abundant. Some say Bahasa Indonesia is one of the easiest, and if you're curious to prove that, I'm here to help. 😁
Hey, hiking on a hidden trail toward fields of flowers? Aligning yourself with Mother Nature? I think those will be fun and possess healing power! A good exercise builds your stamina and boosts your dopamine levels, not unlike dancing. Dancing is both a sport and an art. ⛰🤸♂️💃
And since we're sashaying to art? Painting with watercolors, strumming a ukulele! Heck, writing a blog LIKE THIS may exercise your artistic touches. 😆🎨🪕✍
But my one advice to you? Remember (or at least, try) to practice an open mind. To embrace whatever comes your way, that will work for you. A grand idea of a solution you think is perfect may never happen. Instead, the answer that comes knocking at your door often differs from anything you expected. But it'll unknowingly be just right for your case. It's an endless possibility. 🙂
Whenever you're ready, muster up your courage to open doors of interaction. Join a community of hobbies or interests in which you might find positive, like-minded people. The same hobbies I mentioned above will do just fine. Nerding out together about upcoming Pokémon games? You'll have a Great Ball with that. Exchanging words of encouragement in a language you learn together may be an exquisite exposition. Collaborating on composing music can strike a satisfying chord. 🎮🗣🎼
You can also try what I do: corresponding with pen pals across the world. It will open your eyes and expand your horizons to different cultures and daily challenges, along with the shocking similarities. You'll see that we may be different, and yet, not so different. 🌏✉🌎
Wait! Is it that easy?
Well, honestly, not really. 😅
No, it's NOT going to be easy, as people will be people. People can come and go. That's also your cue to start filtering the good from the bad, the noise from the harmony. The freedom is still in your hands. Don't ever forget that. 🙅🏻♂️
Many will casually say to you, "It will get better." 👍🏻
On the one hand, perhaps they are right. The motivational sentence came from a place of sincerity based on similar experiences they've overcome. 🤗
But in some cases, they may not be right or as kind as they seem. "It will get better" can be a throwaway line that people will resort to when they're being dismissive. In such a case, it may very well be a mask for "Meh, it couldn't be that bad. You're getting all worked up over nothing." After all, these people don't exactly know the kind of struggles you go through, as they aren't walking in your shoes. Yet, they still have this assumption that they know better. Sadly, this is a reality that does happen, as not every person is equipped with the capacity or empathy to care. 🤷🏻♂️😑
Regardless of which category, there's one definite fact. You CAN get stronger and wiser at dealing with your struggles. Whether on your own or through meeting other souls who offer genuine empathy and sympathy, you CAN learn to overcome them. 🙃👆🏻
The world is vast, and there are billions of people going about their days. You may feel alone, and I know how real that is. But if you stop and think about it with a clearer mind? Logically speaking, you're never truly alone. We might all be unique and different individuals. Yet, somewhere, out there, someone knows and understands what kind of hardship you're going through—even if not the entire picture. Or as my penguin pen pal often calls it, "Your people. Your tribe." Your kindred spirit. 😏🙌🏻🤭
Sometimes, you don't even need to try too hard. The right ones—those who genuinely care for you—may come to you instead. When they do, please open your heart and let them in! They will stand by your side, just to be there for you, until you see the light beyond the darkness, to pull you out from the void with compassion. Once you do so, you'll notice that heavy sense of loneliness feels lighter. And as I can attest, they may even return your faith in friendship again. In humanity! Maybe even make you feel loved and ready to love again. 😌🤗
Note: Remember, "they" can refer to more than just "another person." 😉
So if you're reading this and feel alone: Please—DON'T GIVE UP. Have faith that good things will come to you in their time. Keep reaching out. Somewhere along the way, you may find your answer: a sincere soul who SEES you, not as invisible, but as someone who MATTERS DEEPLY. And in time, you may say to one another, "You may be forlorn. But my dear friend, you'll never be forgotten." 😊
No comments:
Post a Comment